Promise

Two years ago today, you and I went on our first date.  We had expressed our feelings for one another over the phone while I was at my parent's home for the holidays, and on January 6 I returned to the college town where we met.  You wanted to take me to Red Lobster, a favorite for both of us, and I remember thinking it was so fancy and I felt grown-up in a new way.  We talked and even argued a little, and the hours slipped by until we looked up and the restaurant was empty, and the waiter was explaining that they would close in 10 minutes.  We migrated over to a 24 hour diner and continued talking.  I didn't want to ever leave.  You held my hands across the table, and I felt my face turning red.  It was a beautiful evening.  

There was so much about relationships that I didn't understand at the time.  Even when we got married, I didn't know what was coming, and sometimes our life together caught me off guard.  The last year of marriage has helped me to understand more about what is really valuable in a relationship, and I want to make these new promises to you.

1.  I will not look to you as my ultimate source of joy and fulfillment. 

               Only Jesus can fill the hungry soul.  The good gifts that He gives me, like you, are not meant to replace or lessen my dependence on Him.  I can only enjoy you to the fullest when I am first filled with Jesus.

2.  I will enjoy you to the fullest.

               You are such a treasure to me.  Because you were given to me by God, you are a threat to the enemy, and he seeks to keep me from enjoying you completely by telling me lies about you or reminding me of your faults when I should be focusing on your value to me.  I promise to fight off our enemy as hard as I can so that my perception of you will not be distorted by his lies.  The devil will not steal my joy in having you as my husband.  I promise to take every opportunity to laugh at your jokes, say “thank you,” and appreciate your nearness.

3.  I will look to the Lord to help me “always leave the darkness for the light.” (From “The Edge,” by Michael Card)

               It is my responsibility to call on the Name of the Lord, and run into it as my Strong Tower.  You are not meant to be my Strong Tower, and you are not meant to deliver me from the enemy.  My trust must remain in the Lord.  Thank you for the times that you have gone to search for me in the darkness.  Thank you for helping me along as I run to the Strong Tower.  Thank you for standing up for me and protecting me when I am mistreated.  But thank you for not trying to be God.  Thank you for leading me and teaching me how to run to the Strong Tower, for it is only there that we are saved.

4.  Before I worry, I will choose to trust you because I trust the Lord.

               Love always trusts.  Obedience to this truth requires great trust in the Lord, for it makes us vulnerable to disappointment.  But I will promise to cast my worries aside and trust you, even when it’s hard, because I know that we are ultimately held by His sovereign plan, and it’s worth the vulnerability.

5.  Before I accept despair and defeat in our marriage, I will put my hope in the Lord’s perfect plan for us.

               Love always hopes.  No matter how hard the dark places are, I will choose to maintain my hope for healthy, good places.  We’ll get there together, and I love you even on the bad days.

6.  Before I give up, I will persevere.

               Love always perseveres.  The weight of an argument or indifferent spirit cannot overpower the perseverance that flows through us when we are committed to the Lord’s plan above all else.

8.  I will serve you cheerfully.

               It is a joy to do nice things for you.  It really is.  I won’t let the enemy steal that joy by telling me I deserve better, or reminding me that on a given day I did more for you than you did for me.  That’s baloney and I don’t have to listen to it.

9.  When I am frustrated by your flaws I will remind myself of at least three beautiful, Godly things you did or said. 

               You are amazing to me.  I won’t let go of that so easily. 

10.  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

               By the grace of God I will love you this way.  I will not strive or struggle to conform myself to this image of love, but every day I will deliver myself up to the One who will transform my heart through rest and trust in Him.