I found this prayer from last December scribbled in a notebook. It was good to remember that God has me where I am because I gave Him permission, and because I left to follow Him to Canaan.
"If You bring me to a place where all I've invested in is proven wrong and I am deeply bankrupt, I will not turn away to go back to my comfortable home, because You alone have the Words of Life--where else can I go?
And if all I have is You, then I have everything. Nothing missing, nothing broken; perfect peace.
You are my Shalom, and if everything must be stripped away for me to know You better, then let me be stripped naked, crippled and emptied--homeless in the eyes of the world, so that they can see more clearly that I belong to a better, unshakeable Home.
Teach me, Lord, to number my days, and know how very small these sacrificed hours of pilgrimage are in comparison to the eternity that they sow.
Oh teach me how to Treasure Heaven. Teach me to die, and to grasp the life that is truly life. I want no life but Yours, and if I must life here on the bloodied ground for all my earthly life to bring my flesh in subjection to that thought, then this I will do.
Oh please show me the way."
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