Kindness

It's more important to me that I have the best of all that You are than that I have it my way.
It frees me from maintaining my opinions, defending my spineless wisdom--just to let Your ways be my righteousness, Your works to be kindness to me.  "Let a righteous Man strike me, for it is a kindness."  Let my kingdom crumble and be exposed in all of its whitewashed filth, for this is a kindness.

I don't get to decide what it means for You to be kind to me.  "God is good."  Yes.  But His goodness is lethal to my flesh, and sacred cows melt in the heat of it.  It is kindness for You to come and war against my demons.

I'm going to plant my feet in Peniel until all the kindness in this cup is gone.  I'm not going to let You go unless You bless me.  And I will hold out my flesh to be burned by the blessing.  It is a kindness.